its birthday time ..Thanks U Buddies :-)

so its my birthday  happy birthday soumya,!! :)

.It was the best birthday i could have asked for thanks to my friends and the hordes of wishes that came my way... long gone are my days as a teenager, not like they were anything to write home about. So yaa  treated my friends with nothing than a very warm thanks a lot than to say anything really birthdays are really special in everyone life it’s the only special day I feel where u get “N”. number of wishes hugging best of luck for good further ahead and blessing from elders and love and affection from friends relatives and families .Thanks to God for giving me nice friends ,family and my well wisher who alwz wishes me.. the most intresting part about birthday is U alwz expect and assumes who gona wish u .. I’ keep on guessing and I’m very happy all wished me.. and who ever havn’t also wished me .. wished me belated ,it feels soo great … i feel happy when someone wishes .me. anyways..!! feels nice getting a birthday present from my uncle parents and from my friends..  And guess what Team India gave me the best gift what a match and what a revenge what a win what a entertainment it surly made my day watchin firstly sehwag quick hittin 30 and God-sachin awsum touch it’s a treat to watch and what comes next virat stupendous hitting  smashin 133* oh god and winin in style with more 13 overs to spare and chasin 321 on 36.4 ovr amazing great great batting by india :).woowww   and thanks atonne my fellow bloggers for wishing me... thanks a tonne...and to all everybody else who made STD calls and messages and wished me on orkut and facebook thank u thank u thanks a lot 

life is all about feelings and being happy .soo I’m writing this with all my happy feelings and sharing with u al..! last few days of my life been very good I’m so thank ful to god .thank u . yes I promised u to read for this sem. And to do well in examz and I had realized yaa hard work is everything unless u do hardwork u won’t expect for a good result ,i’m focused  and I will try harder to  do well.. but God please continue this happy days so that I can happily do well in examz  well apart from philosophizing 

and yaa i've been keeping myself busy with other things too.. whether be classes, reading, talking, helping around at home (Ma's so happy) and , assignments etc. just to keep myself from philosophising, well it has helped my case to a certain extent. read up three books.which I borrowed from y friend - 'the JApanese wife' by Kunal Basu, ' one afternoon' by Roma Bansal and 'the zoya factor' by anuja chauhan. One afternoon makes for a really weird read. Japanese wife is kinda melancholic.. with most f the characters in the short stories trying to run away from grief. As to Zoya factor, absolutely loved it... must read for all... you'll love the humour, the cricket, the protagonists, inshort everything about it...  well I desperate to read my favorite writer book  ohooo my nikita singh and durjoy dutta book I will start it after my mid sem over .  “if its not forever its not Love.

• But for now I have to read for my mid sem and do well simple.

·          And

·         Chinmaya .,babloo Chandra. ajay. I will never forget ur wishes bro’s  on my birthday dudes . ha ha,,aah thoda tha reham karte acha gift diya  sallo rukoo aapna aapna birthday aane doo.. mein bhi return dunga the good gifts u gave me rukoo ESPEICALLY babloo ! :-P :-D

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·         Ps:that is all that is there for now... hoping i did not kill you of boredom. i sign off..

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•  

I have to be postive & patient & persistent !!!

With the Advaita number 'so lost' playing and sreeya ghosal broken promises in the background right now, No other song could better describe my situation right now... the vacuous stare at the screen as I type this post out... with memories, worries, sadness, disillusion all running amok in my head... An abyss opens out to me... Don't know what to feel... Don't know if this is what I'd wanted... whether anythings worth it at all... All that I am striving to achieve... Hoping to have in my life... is it worth the peace of my mind that I am loosing right now... and how much more ironical can my life be... Side by side as I write the profile for my dept for the companies to be coming in for placement in our college... I am the last person to be feeling for my branch at all... Somehow I've never come to make much of my engineering degree at all... I study for merely perfunctory reasons and I guess my marks are a reflection of the same.. yup dismal performance is so conspicuous by its presence... Or probably my brains been reduced to a sieve which fails me every time... so much for my hubris... makes me laugh at myself... From the sepia tinged memories of pride to the grime reality of being an absolute nobody... whose so bloody incapable of anything... And the person I'd hoped to hear me out, stand by me appears so far away... So distant... Irony hits you hard you realise... Accepting my inadequacies is becoming a herculean task... adjusting my dreams to their limitations, breaks me... Why is this happening to me? Where did I go so horribly wrong? where is the silver lining? The emptiness engulfs me... when is this this below average existence end? Have I run after all the wrong things in my life? Have I forgotten myself, forgotten valueing myself? Why am I looking for excuses... When will I rise above this all... will I ever?? Its a long road ahead... And I hope the blurry vision will eventually clear out... I hope the blues will fade out to a xanthous sky... I hope to see my nescience finally becoming a thing of the past... and I finally achieving what I truely deserve... I wait... I wait for love.. I wait for happiness... I wait for freedom...

so finally my god forsaken exams result are out... I guess I fared just about ok...but not ok. As I had kept my expectation low thatway I hadn’t had much pain or shock after hearing great news.. And i guess I'd let my results do the talking whenever they come in.oho oki leave it now... Life's been decent enough.before this result came out...my eventful and beautiful third year will be comin  to an end..after this sem.. A heart warming year... A year of many first's... And i hope life continues on this note... But sometimes life puts me in such quandaries... my inability to tell things to people on their face to avoid uncomfortable situations gets to me... for once i want to be real honest with people and tell them this is what I don't like in them... I don't like them commenting on my life, on the way I was, on the way I look... On how I work... I hate it when people pick on raw wounds, pick on my ego, pick on things way too personal for me... I don't like it... Probably you people don't intend to hurt me but somewhere down it pinches me... Some things don't go down well with me... They just don't so spare me... :)

ahhh so well, the feeling of being mediore just seems to be resounding back again and again.. The pre placement talk gives me the feeling of being from outter space, with the loud talk on some gibberish computer language and how my fellow batchmates have figured things out so well in their lives and ofcourse their pompous asses just fart their way through the ramble.

Apart from all of the material aspect to being all to myself, I'd like to fend all for myself. Learning to live in a new city, meeting new people who are not even remotely related to my past. I'd want a new beginning starting from scratch. From finding my own accommodation, to locating the local kirana store, to finding a good book store or/and library and a cafe. And I guess I'd not want any men in my life then, at least nobody I could reach out to immediately, I'd want to deal with my own upheavals, my own happiness, cross roads on my own without this instinctive grab for an arm (my hand does have a mind of his own), ask my friends.

So lets come to reality now..well Life has not been smooth for me. will that what life it is for every one.and its  all about I have one chance to repay back my last sem hopeless performance is to perform in this sem..will this will make me some relief & I’m desperate time to perform..its high time now. Not taking stress not taking pain and not taking some much of negative from this sem.. I need to work hard simplest thing I can do than to think about my future..!

Ps: stop thinkin much about this shit shut up and start doing work out.. work harder  learn from the mistake .that what I have to do..& without copying anyone..i have to bother about my life and what I want to do than to follow certain person..anyways I hope I come out strong and mostly be positive to perform be < optimistic > .!!

Till then ta ta..Cyaa..