Some bed time thoughts....

Some bed time thought which we realize it when we are all alone and spend much time with yourself. The word of wisdom's which we have learned over the years. I am sure you  have been come across to those expressing  moment of your life when we all have learned something. The latest one which I have learned is to survive in this world we have to "Work hard" and nothing just nothing that's it !

Some emotions flowss mates so time to read out and broadcast your feelings Just feel it ;)

 I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kinda happy about it.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it

I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

PS: I've learned that the post should be short and small so that people should have patience to read out your thoughts ha ha :D #cheers guys and enjoy :) 

When your life is lost

Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Another day, another morning, another alarm turned off. No motivation but to turn the pillow over to its colder side and lay there half asleep, unanswered questions gliding in and out of my mind.

This was how most of my mornings went in my last days of college. I had never been too motivated by the promise of college, even in high school, but it had always been set in my head that a college degree was my goal, my path to that elusive happiness we all crave.

It was my belief, and perhaps my parents’ as well, that I would head off to have the proverbial college experience and in the process I would become a lawyer or some sort of government official. That I would just wake up one day and say, “Aha! I know what I want to do for the rest of my life!” But that morning epiphany never came.

All that happened was a continuous cycle of partying, all night study sessions, followed by a complete and utter lack of fulfillment. So I moved back home with disappointed,  parents, and a deep sense of failure and confusion.

What it does mean is that if you feel lost, just take a deep breath and realize that being lost can be turning point of finding out who you truly are and what you truly want to do.

I still struggle, I still feel lost at times. I’ve cried and I’ve felt embarrassed. I’ve felt like a failure and I’ve felt pity from others and from myself. But I’m at peace with myself more and more every day and now I don’t even need an alarm to get up in the morning.

I just fall asleep thinking about the people I hold close to my heart and my music, and that brings me more excitement than anything I could have ever imagined.I miss one person in my life as her today will miss her tomorrow and forever.Perhaps this is the only heartbreaking story of my life which everyone comes across in a long deep short life. I miss those days but I have  to accept the fact that some special people enters your life as a temporary happiness and leaves behind all those special memories ..

Why everything in this life is so temporary ?.

Well life is amazing. I believe we’re here to find happiness, and when we do, to share it with everyone we meet.

It was one of the most trying times in my life simply because I realized that my life had been on autopilot.

Everything about my future was ambiguously assumed. I would get into debt by going to do higher degree and go college again, then I would be forced to get a job to pay off that debt, while still getting into more and more debt by buying a house and a car. It seemed like a never-ending cycle that had no place for the possibility of a dream.

I wanted more—but not necessarily in the material sense of personal wealth and success. I wanted more out of life. I wanted a passion, a conceptual dream that wouldn't let me sleep out of pure excitement. I wanted to spring out of bed in the morning, rain or shine, and have that zest for life that seemed so intrinsic in early childhood.

We all have a dream. It might be explicitly defined or just a vague idea, but most of us are so stuck in the muck of insecurity and self-doubt that we just dismiss it as unrealistic or too difficult to pursue.

We become so comfortable with the life that has been planned out for us by our parents, teachers, traditions, and societal norms that we feel that it’s stupid and unsafe to risk losing it for the small hope of achieving something that is more fulfilling.

“The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.” ~Jawaharlal Nehru

Don’t take me wrong though; taking a risk is still a risk. We can, and will, fail. Possibly many, many, many times. But that is what makes it exciting for me. That uncertainty can be viewed negatively, or it can empower us.

Failing is what makes us grow, it makes us stronger and more resilient to the aspects of life we have no control over. The fear of failure, although, is what makes us stagnant and sad. So even though I couldn't see the future as clearly as before, I took the plunge in hopes that in the depths of fear and failure, I would come out feeling more alive than ever before.

And I did. It took some time and some unwanted introspection, but out of the loneliness of my parents’ dark basement, I came out with a bright light of creativity and personal understanding.

I had always loved writing and telling stories, but the task of writing a book just seemed too daunting and cumbersome for a young man now who is no more a kid according to my parents point of view. So I began writing poetry, playing with metaphors and smiling at similes.

PS: It was one of days which keeps me back back here! to write something and to share my thoughts. Getting lost is something which can helps to find yourself .

#cheers all :)

A Journey to Bangalore :)

 Hello folks Namaskaram , ya its been a while now not been posted a new experiences as life is seamless these days and a  bit busy, but I’m back to share this one with u guys  ….

Train, yeah Train the although not the most comfortable means to travel has a different feel to it.. Staring into different blocks of people from different parts of the world was something  abyss, into an almost surreal world this is , the desire to free fall and talk and share u’r life stories , the meandering thoughts, the wish to run amok into their experiences , the train logy guys comes in berth for selling infinity times for selling different food items , the strange comfort of the unfamiliarity, life for those 28 hours is idyllic, not peaceful...  but different experiences to speak about with travelling and extraordinary  twin city Chennai and Bangalore .

Merina beach front place to enter by.

Chennai was a welcome break and had a good end to it as my train to Bangalore was late ... the merina beach making me miss company of a certain somebody... sigh, but chennai's behind me and i am back to the mundane and the run around... but somewhere down even the mundane is peaceful with my friend #Daipayan .  we took a bus and I find ppl of cheenai was on their homey land it was strange ya they can’t understand Hindi well although I tried a way to communicate with hotel guy with a glimpse talky face but he was unable to get my Hindi and then I tried bit of #Tanglish which is little of #tamil and #English and wink wink * * he he :)
 

using my Google dictionary must say the generation of smart phone making  ppl’s really smart thanks to google app stores.

The city is old as it looks a little modification from different statues and building roadways landscapes  and traffic typical "new madras" and the heat of summer those gentle breeze near by the seaside it’s a cool way to spend afternoon near by the sea soaking in the summer heat and happily spending couple of hours over there well really make you feel relax and refresh from u'r boring life  finally we returned to station took our next train to Bangalore .

when we landed as expected Bangalore was full crowds the mockery of traffics And at nights the all pervading dark city lights dazzling big big building offices software companies, the beauty of looking at the city below is beyond words, as if the stars have come down for you, and you are going to a world far off, away from the dreariness, away from things that have held you back... it definitely gets the poet out of me 

.

Now Why do we call other people lucky? Why do we wish to be in their place in their moment of happiness and wish the contrary when a tragedy befalls them? I've learnt my lesson of never wanting to switch chairs or calling them lucky. Although  I miss my home “yaa kehte hai na kuch paaane ki liye kuch khoona padta hai “.. anyways this is what life is all about :)

Well, sorry I couldn't get the dreary tone out of this post. We live a disillusioned existence, we run after things we think will give us happiness only to realize how fate can screw things so badly... there's bitter after taste even after a job...
more experiences to come and more emotions well flows keep reading folks and share your experiences with me too #cheerssss J


ps: " This journey is like or this part of my life is the catches of my life are like salts on my raw wounds..."

Hawwi Yeh Saarrdi :)

December -the coldest season of year ..the month of happiness month of excitement & it Arrives the month of many expectation and the ravishingly ending to this year end ..which that vl be the end of this mixed excitin year of mine..many experience to share and from red's to blue's   friendship to relationships ..link up to break up everythin..the years last month is been my fav. month the eve of Xmass and the new year greetin  wishes and new new feelin of restorin of life again and snow fall the winter ,blankets cold N cough ,room heater The morning Fog the below temp. zero degree.. ohoo i love this winter yeh sardi mein baat he kuch aur hai.. and the journey of new resoultion and new routin again arrives.. what a season..:) 

month of festivals and parties ;)

 

my little cousin sis books captured snap

Some news to share ;) 

 frizzing nite guys heating out street workers

supreme court has ordered Indian states to provide adequate night ...
enjoy winter feel the heat !! and All my mates happy winter nite..and .have a frizzin nite ;):P:))

Well, life is been pretty blissful desdays thanks to that Alimghty who had all plans set up to illuminate my life with full of happiness dunno but for a while it seems lyk this..

i love this moment so this made me to come back here and share with u my precious feeling on goin rite now my mind ;)

Hawi yeh sardi enjoy the cool coolness and be happy enjoy thanda with some Garam Garam sumthing warm .may be a Coffee ;)
Wishing Everyone A Merry Christmas and A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 J hey 2014  plz be Awesome \m/

PS: not making any resolution becz u know why becz I never follow it ...

google 2014 pix Happy new year all.

 anyways :D
Enjoy guys kal ka kya rakha hai Aaj jiyo be blessed and rock Great (Y).

Cyioo..

Growing Up in my city :)

Having lived all my life in   Bhubaneswar, memories with didi and friends  we have in a way shared our formative years together. From the decrepit and dusty look with just a few stores open to a complete makeover with huge billboards and glossier banners and the flyover with a thriving nightlife, I have seen it all.

As a kid I remember those walk downs to bake shop, for the extra cheese pizza and the end of the term treat of hot chocolate fudge for having scored an A-grade in my exams. And of the faux Santa, going all during new year times haha hehe, outside the ‘Modern  Bazaar’  market building ,departmental store, doling out small lil gifts to kids who passed by the shop. Market building or Unit 1 Haat was one of the first of its kinds in Bhubaneswar, and was known for its imported products, like the nice vegetarian food down the streets foods Dhai Bara's to  rasogola’s and well let me tell u there was many few restaurants in cities but my own fav. Priya Restaurant Masala Dosa south Indian foods,

One of the best Restaurants in Bhubaneswar”. Review of Priya Restaurant

 Make me  grilled , exotic herbs, olive oils, chocolates (other than the usual Nestle and Cadbury), Hershey’s Chocolate syrup etc. all unheard of at that point in time. For me the first time I ever saw the Chocolate syrup add was at the back of an old battered copy of an Archie’s comic brought from one of the second hand book stores in the precincts of the S complex, which ever also the source of my weekly supply of Enid Blytons and Nancy Drews, with yellowing pages and dog ears, with names of previous owners scribbled on them, rubbing shoulders with Mills and Boons, The Inscrutable Americans and what not. Priced at just a measly thirty five bucks they definitely came in cheaper than the first hand ones, with their cellophane film still intact on them, from ‘Fact and Fiction’, the only pragyan bookstore back then at center. It still is a surprise at how much those Bookstore owners (i.e. second hand books) know and the ease with which they pronounce the names of even Indian authors.

My childhood is fraught with memories of late night movie shows at kesari talkies and then  of coming all disheveled and bleary eyed and leaving all bright eyed and sometimes puffy, after sheding copious amounts of tears for the estranged lovers or the cancer afflicted hero, scrutinizing the movie to the minutest detail. Those were the days of the hand painted posters, of the lead actors canoodling and the villain smirking, with the sidekick running with a gun, all in gaudy fluorescent paints, before making way for the printed ones.
sometimes the drive back to the master canteen station with Rapunzel, with the music on high, karoaking to the songs, through the pot holed roads, .. its been beautiful... loosing myself to the deluge and the greenery, watching wet birds take flight, a scared wet mongrel run for cover... Could life get anymore idyllic feels great in evening time ...

 

courtesy pix- Bhubaneswar Diary.

As I entered my teenage years so did kesari, it now had Inox theater  in bhubaneswar, TGIF, Barista  big malls etc and later on came in the lounges and discs for the nouveau riche Indian middle class and their prodigal progeny. In the days of yore, it had the most eclectic of crowds thronging it, but as time passed like any reckless teenager, kesari has its darker stories to tell. Stories of call girl racketeering in one of those dodgy gullies leading into the complex, of gigolos looming and haggling with potential customers, of drunken brawls having gone awry and of drug peddling. Kesari also happens to be one of the favourite haunts for courtship, although I’ve also seen couples parting ways and the usual BPO crowd, the suave executives and gold chain jangling  businessman.

courtesy- Google 

So all in all, movies theater  like every other place in Bhubaneswar  is a microcosm of sorts, effervescent and dazzling with life and light, and the ‘relieving’ cow and scampering dog with street urchins providing the necessary comic relief. but this city is changed its lot look a like kolkata these days with many hotels ,malls ,cafe's ,CCD's ,Restaurant's food courts, ice cream parlous i guess everything u can find .   all this making this city look wonderful to watch in night time..and of course 

we all know its the city of temples :)

 Famous Ram Mandir ! courtesy - Snata Nayak pix 

Ps: this was the piece that was to come out in the Outlook city limits, in this week’s issue... but could not see the light of the day  :) cyaa..!

Phailin EFFECT !! :(

courtesy- cousin bro snaps 

#PHAILIN #cyclone -just satured my Durga puja plans finally end up with HAPPY "PHAILIN" PUJA :(
This past weekend I found myself doing the one thing no one wants to do the most horrible experiences just like a horror story what a torture :)

image -shared by my cousin bro .evening time

But what terrified me more than how much it  was the sheer terrifying fact that I was going to be without No Internet no water no network no charge  until monday and can't go outside too. That meant I would have 4 days power cut with continous Raining and left with no power in my home, 4 days of not being plugged into my job 24/7, 4 days of not tweeting, messaging or Googling. How was I going to do it?  . Would we have to get water from a well and kill a goat on Avenue C for dinner? Without internet, does life revert back to the colonial era?


So yeah, I’m addicted to the internet. Shocker. It’s where I live, work, enjoy movies and oftentimes celebrate online birthday with my friends . To ensure that I don’t get completely lost in it though, I refuse to own my Smartphone. Due to the less charge unable to on my phone so Instead of that i used my mama phone which  It has no internet capabilities too ,Sometimes it doesn’t even turn on but what it does do is give me a much-needed respite from the Internet what a situation :(

Even though I’ve exemplified some self-control with the world wide web, this 4 day abstinence was going to put me to the test. Luckily, the first day I spent without it actually ended up being pretty okay as it was raining heavily with the night goes viral and mad those winds of over 180km/hr cyclonic storms I awake up to 3am nite and watching those horrifying situation those storming winds fucking us Omgg The dark knight just gone more worsen with those storming winds and my garden is out of slot tress are just falling out one by one after being hacked.
 It took practically the whole day for my to recover and I to get our stuff moved in so by the time I could even think about logging online, I passed out.

I dreaded the second day though with no water supply no network no charge no current 
what a term- odious situation.
 There would be no distractions this time. It would just be me, myself, and I. When I woke up, I just laid in bed while looking longingly at my computer screen. After sulking for about ten minutes, I finally started to read the new Chelsea Handler book I had been meaning to finish. When I was done with that though, I became very disoriented and began to eat half a box of Wheat Thins in a post-post-modern fugue. When you don’t have the Internet, your body becomes fatigued for no reason (perhaps a symptom of withdrawl) and you just begin to eat. A lot. I spent the day alternating between my bed and my couch. I consumed an obscene amount of food and read two books. Shockingly, it was still only 6:00 p.m and it was dark That’s when I became desperate and decided to just get super high as a way to pass the time. Fact: If you’re stoned, you won’t care if there is no Internet.  The Internet not existing is really NBD. After spending my evening hours stoned out of my mind, I went to bed and slept for eleven hours. If you’re not keeping track, here are the stats:

Day Two Without Internet
Calories consumed: 5,000
Books read: 2
Number of drugs taken: 1
Feeling free from the shackles of the Internet: Priceless

next morning after the effect my house boundry garden scenario

next morning after the effect road gets jammed and filled with all drainage water and no way to go out :(

On Sunday, I woke up feeling super refreshed. I was actually relieved to be away from the Internet and dreaded meeting my friend later for a meeting because it meant that I would have to go online. It felt like I was going back to my drug dealer when all I wanted to do was stay clean! It had been two days. Why break my sobriety now? Unfortunately, my sense of duty prevailed over my newfound Luddite tendencies so I went to my friends’ house in his apartment and sat there to charge my phone on to do some work stuff .

happy Phailin puja snap taken shared by my cousion bro near by my home :)

Oh. My. God.

F.Y.I.: If you take a two day break from the Internet when your job revolves around the Internet, you will have an insane amount of e-mails waiting for you. I had accumulated 60 in just 48 hours. What? Who were these people and what did they want from me?! LEAVE ME ALONE DAMMIT! When I looked at my Gmail, panic rushed over me and I closed my computer. After I took some deep breaths and visualized someone feeding me an Ativan, I mustered up the courage to face the digital music.

I spent the next few hours in a perpetual state of anxiety. Why did the Internet had want so much from me? It was pissed I had went away and now it was exacting revenge by flooding my inbox with urgent messages. Even though I had only been away for a short while, I got the feeling that I had temporarily forgotten how to “do” the Internet. Does anyone else get that feeling after they’ve spent some time away? It’s a place that requires you to be plugged in all of the time. It’s all or nothing. You’re either giving it handjobs every day by Foursquaring, tweeting and using Facebook or you’re completely out of the game. After that Sunday morning, I had never wanted so badly to be out of the game and removed from the vortex. It had never felt so stressful and pointless as it did that day. After cutting my meeting short, I hightailed it back to my duplex to finish the Sarah Silverman book  .

Today I’ve joined the masses again to share our thoughts and to be with friends and sharing and commenting on their issues . I’ve figured out how to play the Internet game again and going home at the end of the day even makes me feel a little sad. It’s disturbing, right? But the act of connecting and disconnecting from technology is exhausting. At the end of the day, you know you have to come crawling back into the Internet’s arms because that’s where everyone else is. The rest of the world has adapted to it so you have no choice but to follow suit.

That being said, this weekend taught me that taking a break is important. We dedicate so much of our time to this “thing” that we need to sometimes back away and realize that there is real life happening. You don’t want to miss it while checking your #FB. :)


Do help the victims its a request all..

courtesy image  shared from (surdrashan) sir file.

 
PS: Do share u'r thoughts how u felt about PHAILIN EFEECTS ..!sign off now vl catch u all soon with new experiences ..:)

Who Am I ?

Hello Hi  Namaste!!  Guys . Its September now  the month of  Happiness , The return of All festive seasons and mostly I personally like this month because it has got many memories of mine .This month is so special for  me As  many of mine best friends birthday's falls on this month .:)

Okies Time to share the maze of thoughts yet again ..So where do I start Oh yes
I just got back to friend place . after ten amazing days . Celebrating the Happy days . there was a blast and I actually enjoyed the cold weather.

I also visited to a talk show   a sold out goals-setting workshop and spoke at an incredible event about intuition. At both about the experience of life so far , I asked the audience the question, “Who am I?” I like asking this because most people don’t know how to answer this question accurately. Today I am sharing with you All what I shared with the awesome Audiences  I met about how to accurately answer the question, “Who am I?” in a way that will give you incredible insight into your TRUE self. We all get asked the question, “What do you do?” frequently. And most of us have an automatic response. Personally, this question is not interesting to me. I’d much rather know who someone is rather than what they do.

You are not what you do. You are not who you are with. You are not the roles you play in life. You are not your family, religion or race. You are not your age. You are not your gender. You are not your resume of jobs, interests and experiences. So who are you??

So, who are you? Go ahead and answer the question in your mind. Take a moment to either think through it, or better yet, write down your answer before reading on. If you are like 99% of the people I speak to, you most likely answered by listing the roles you play in life, or even the labels you’ve acquired to identify yourself based on where you are from or what you’ve been through. For example: I am an actor, a lawyer, a wife, a son, a student, a procrastinator, an addict, a teacher, a role model, have ADD a graduate from xyz school, a 24- year-old, a Indian, Hindu, Christian, Latin, a cancer survivor, and so on and so on. The list is endless in terms of how we identify ourselves. " But roles we play, things we do, cultures we come from, or labels we put on ourselves are NOT accurate answers to the question of who I am" .  


So who are you? Here’s how I expressed  people how to accurately answer this question which I got my way of saying .:)
Think about something you absolutely #LOVE doing. When you do this thing time stops. You are totally present, engaged and enjoying yourself. Now here is the KEY: what is important is not the activity, but rather what qualities come out of you while you are doing it. Take another moment to consider this and write down your answers. List all the ways of being that you experience when you are engaged in something you love. I LOVE facilitating and coaching people and when I’m doing it, I am compassionate, inspired, creative, committed, generous, connected, sensitive, authentic, playful, thoughtful, giving, present, inquisitive, wise, nurturing, feminine and loving. THAT is who I am. I am not a coach and speaker; those are just the FORMS my essence takes. I also LOVE being with my cousin bro and close friend and the exact same qualities come forward whenever I am with him, so please don’t think that you have to pick something that is tied to a job to do this exercise.
  
We get way to obsessed with form and want to know what we are supposed to DO as our life’s purpose. Your purpose is not something you can do, it is only something you can BE. And when you know who you truly are and bring forward those qualities that are your true essence more and more in EVERYTHING you do, the more you will attract the forms that are most aligned with who you really are.
 Stop trying to be someone you think you should be, or someone you think other people think you should be, or someone you think other people want you to be (did you get all that?!?!). And please stop identifying yourself by the things you do or roles you play in life. 

Ps: Your essence is FAR more interesting and attractive!!  your Amazing and much more exciting than anyone else so don't pretend to be someone than to yourself . lastly U'r not a doormat to someone .
Much love @ Sj . signin out now cyiaoo :)