The reprieve...well that i'm been lookin for quite sometime now..:)

reprieve..well that is what I have been looking for quite sometime now... A break from the life that I am leading... Probably things ain't that bad, or but you know what they aretill you see them on your face like some really disgusting face pack... Wish i could write a bit of poetry... but if wishes were horses, I'd be the stable owner... everything eludes me... marks, love, luck, poetry, good sense blah blah... the ability to talk utter shit alll the time, to sound witty, to sound profound... god damn everything... hmmmmm... 

Just managed 4 hours of sleep last night... and now i have a splitting head ache... have'nt studied the whole day... morning 6, i get up to study something ... 7:40, I'm plonking off on my bed...sleeping till 8:30 getting up only to do a pending assignment... and then I'm caught smiling to myself.... and by the afternoon swearing, at my vestigial, good-for-nothing tongue (I hope you get flow..is it laminar or turbulent) ohh man, I am TIRED.... TIred of my life, I am so looking forward to my surveying trip of summer vacation.. I really want to fare well in this semester... but the way my nerves seem to be working God knows... ANd even dad seems to have noticed my constant crankiness and my disgruntlement with everything around me... PUHLZZ bear with me... its all a passing phase and I hope to get out of it.... real soon... grab a good book..read alot of poetry...have alot of time to myself... wallow in grief happiness whatever...endless introspections, retrospections.... meanderings, broodings... i look forward to it all.... life for now sucks like hell.... I screw it up like always, who lends me the screwdriver.... somebody keep it out off reach... plz...for now ciao

ahhh so well, the feeling of being mediore just seems to be resounding back again and again.. The pre placement talk in our collage and seminar been attended with in 2 weeks all IT companies top most companies in our country oho gives me the feeling of being from outter space, with the loud talk on some gibberish computer language and how my fellow batchmates have figured things out so well in their lives and ofcourse their pompous asses just fart their way through the ramble.

Apart from all of the material aspect to being all to myself, I'd like to fend all for myself. Learning to live in a new city, meeting new people who are not even remotely related to my past. I'd want a new beginning starting from scratch. From finding my own accommodation, to locating the local kirana store, to finding a good book store or/and library and a cafe. and internet to know some updates.. And I guess I'd not want any men in my life then, at least nobody I could reach out to immediately, I'd want to deal with my own upheavals, my own happiness, cross roads on my own without this instinctive grab for an arm (my hand does have a mind of his own), ask my friends.

So lets come to reality now..well Life has not been smooth for me. will that what life it is for every one.and its  all about I have one chance to repay back my last sem hopeless performance is to perform in this sem..will this will make me some relief & I’m desperate time to perform..its high time now. Not taking stress not taking pain and not taking some much of negative from this sem.. I need to work hard simplest thing I can do than to think about my future..!

i sign out now, if there is some spellin.mistakes.just . manage it guys cheers :)

ps: just trying to figure out what next turn my life takes till then enjoyin my 2 days bed rest as sufferin from knee injury.. and viral :)hope i vl get well soon:)