Of rains and rains its goes and my insouciance.

Had the most beautiful evening of my college life , thanks to vickyy and hema bhai company .. The walk to the mba canteen in the light drizzle & rains and rains..with Micey and vickyy and then being joined by hema bhai hilarious with his Rum pack  .:). the talk of our childhood, about cartoons we returned home to... the days of doordarshan and then the advent of cable tv, cartoon network, tales spin, Mowgli, powerpuff girls, dexter... Yesteryears spent enjoying Govinda movies, the absolute surrealism reeking on catastrophic flights of imagination of Indian cinema, the hideousness we went gaga over and then the slow refining of tastes in movies and music alike or just looking at the moving rain laden clouds, watching the playful flirting of dogs.and the politics in our country had made our conversation lot more spicy :)

 

    The talk of what our lives had become now, the run for a job, the absolute shit holes we were in right now, we all had our share of problems, and ranting was all we could do... that was what I was doing more... Our ruminations on life and our inadequacies... And then the downpour, and the run on a whim to get drenched... we were soaking wet by the end of it all, jumping on puddles, splashing water on each other... It was all so beautiful... never had I enjoyed the rains this much... And all this when exams were just a week  away and we'd not even started studying for 1 paper IDC.  I guess just added more to the fun factor..

     And then the luke warm maggi in the canteen... Life couldn't make any more beautiful experiences... It was sheer bliss... the face towards the inky blue night sky and the feel of rain drops on my face... And you realise how what we run after is so shallow, so frivolous but important for the fact that it was part of the real world and there is no running away from the toil of life... You can only give back when you have something in hand... for all my romanticism an empty hand can give nothing...

When rains stopped had gone to hostel and spend a little time with bj and chinmaya  and the evening gone lot more beautiful n brighten  with having veg.pokadora and gol gappa’s  in the near by my campus thanks to  chinmaya  for  veg.pokadora tasted yummy. ohoo my taste bud burned too with eatin soo fired up pokadora garam garam ..luks lyk these rainy season is just belongs to me after getting wet enjoyin little warm aah that’s fantastic ..

    And then the drive back to the master canteen station with rapunzel, with the music on high, karoaking to the songs, through the pot holed roads, again in the rains... its been beautiful... loosing myself to the deluge and the greenery, watching wet birds take flight, a scared wet mongrel run for cover... Could life get anymore idyllic..probably if I had a job in hand as well... that is how cruel life can get.. sigh... :)

ps :"May it rain again...
 May there be more such evenings..."

I hope -"Ummed pe duniya kayam hai" -:)

So where we are and now it’s the last  of June , aah ya things have started going for me in my way..and mostly its lords month “jai jagannath “

Last month was been pretty mix up  it’s been while I have started taking so matured decisions in my life..yoo its pretty interesting I must say J well life is been good for a while now I have been now back to my normal spaces so call happy oriented being so alone and lonely what I always supposed to be and love to be.. things have changed little bit from a curious unstable guy to now  a  relaxed  person i’m getting what I want to do.. I’m just so clear about what things are moving on my life …well june is been quite a month for arrivals for Rainss ohh  ya rainy season arrived my best I don’t know I just LOVE rains because its just after the bullshit Summer I hate summer  its where the  atmosphere was burning out and every where people were getting pissed due to that thundering summer  earth was so heat up …for me it was relief  personally becz I can’t take summer its soo hot to adjust to this atmosphere well-being an  Indian kid I’m unable becz last month or soo the earth was burning like I don’t know no words to describe the sweat and pain heat yak.. season , where its unable to adjust ..i’m frankly.. I’m happy monsoon arrived..and now the  surviver Tip tip barish  . I love the first rain just after the Summer , I LOVE RAIN!! The dark sky, thunder, and the smell!..RAINY DAYS make me HAPPY! 

Well last month was been perfect for me Rainy days are perfect for cuddling up with a warm blanket, my laptop, a good book, the remote and a nice cup of something warm! Soooooote raho aur soone doo dosto enjoy the rest  its all sleep and sleepin..and hanging around with my best of buddies chilling with them how to deal life next ,talking to the most likeable person in my life  who can understands me and my feeling and taking out some tips from them ..

A break from the life that I am leading... Probably things ain't that bad, or but you know what they aretill you see them on your face like some really disgusting face pack... Wish i could write a bit of poetry... but if wishes were horses, I'd be the stable owner... everything eludes me... marks, love, luck, poetry, good sense blah blah... the ability to talk utter shit alll the time, to sound witty, to sound profound... god damn everything... hmmmmm... 

The pre placement talk in our collage and seminar will be been attended with in 2 months all IT companies top most companies in our country oho gives me the feeling of being from outter space, with the loud talk on some gibberish computer language and how my fellow batchmates have figured things out so well in their lives and ofcourse their pompous asses just fart their way through the ramble. Looks like “yeh bhend pe sabse piche hum khade “

So lets come to reality now..well Life has not been smooth for me. will that what life it is for every one.and its  all about I have one chance to repay back my last sem hopeless performance is to perform in this sem..will this will make me some relief & I’m desperate time to perform..its high time now. Not taking stress not taking pain and not taking some much of negative from this sem.. I need to work hard simplest thing I can do than to think about my future..! hope I would get a placement  and makes my parents happy..at least well I think I’ m not the best of son for them provably in my point sometimes they always have high expectation from me.. more than my Big sis  where all parents do and compare becz obivious they took soo much of pain and tells us “bête bhaago and compite else u vl be last “  so true words ..without my parents what I will do I can’t figure our really ..yaa they have expectation so high from me.. why I don’t know perhaps they believe on me that one day  there Son gona makes their Dreams comes alive and what effort they have put me to be in rite now in my life will be fruitful one day I just hope I will , well more than me getting inner happiness or getting any success in my life I just want to see my parents at least happy for me ,I have seen those hard days I have seen what my parents have did for me, what effort they have spared for their entire life to make their Son an engineer , honestly I just want to see there smile on their faces .and in my salary I want to give them treat and yaa to my lovely friends  too . god please full fill my dream I have never asked u anything so violently than this..i want to see them happy..and we all want to see our parents happy isn’t and some people thoughts that’s this century is a careless dumb ass who don’t care I mean we don’t care about our parents and their happiness “ I swear if get that man I will kill him/her I will ask what supposed him/her to put that statement to us ..its very harsh ,we do care we do love our parents ..who said it? we don’t..

yaa I can’t count on my parents effort giving me quality education full filling all my needs and giving me their best of  guidance and telling in every sphere of my life that’s what’s right and what’s wrong  in life . well that’s every parents does all will say but I had seen what my parents have did for me , we belongs to simple background a middle class Indian family soo I had seen the value of money of budgets yaa its been a while I had seen it all now hope I could pay them back at least just to say there son is having a job now and will live his life when U’re also not around with them one day , he is matured now to take his decision in his own .i want to prove this to my parents friends hope everyone wants this .

well placement is coming  I hope -"Ummed pe duniya kayam hai" -God will be Kind to me if not for me but for my parents I really wanted them to see happy it’s enough now after 1 year life will take another turn straight to highway I  suppose where its single way there will be  no double side.no looking back and no return . and there will be no stopping for me..

soo for this I have to keeping focusing on just trying to figure out what next turn my life ,I have to work hard .yaaaa !

ps : If we want to have any hope for any situation we just have to do  present favorable for that situation for that much close so that we can able to hope for the next to come..and for that’s  2 words comes “Work hard “

if we want to achieve anything in life for yourself or for any one then just focus on ur’e  Aims and work  hard  , success is yours – Sachin Tendulkar  :)

I hope  this Rain would bless me for  my future and to everyone  their  life’s and those who are reading this at least  “wana say god is kind and will make your life blissful for sure if we believe on what we do and on our self   lines by my maa .

Lord jagnnath will bless all and its rath yatra time now comes its today ..wishing every one  a happy yatra and blissful one ..:) :)

JAGANNATH SWAMY...................... NAYAN PATHAGAMI...................BHABA TUME..............JAY JAGANNATH...JAY JAGANNATH......JAY JAGANNATH

soo  I will be loving this romantic season of tip tip barish till I fall ill so far so good for me till then cyaaa.keep enjoying this season and keep focusing .

Searching for muse :)

well the absence of a muse or source of inspiration  in my life is the reason for the hiatus from writing...for my life no longer thrills...its just way too riddled with unfinished coaching assignments, , pracs, and the like.
And well after an aeon or so i've run out on my list of broken relations broken heart ...and I'm moving on ...i guess its just Mika's "lollypop- loves gonna get you down" song growing on me<3...this sudden enlightenment has been acheived without the "under the banyan act of penance", (sorry for Mr.Buddha, you had to wait that long, although your philosophy of the middle path still does the trick for me). Just learnt loves not found when you go looking for it. It just hits you hard, and boy oh boy!! how much you love the head on collision... And with the sweltering heat you have the guys of our college going in for Aamir khans bald look..but i guess the barbed wire shave is amiss. They say love makes you loose out on sleep,true i guess? but the whole love affliction adds to the mad sucking drive the mosquitoes seem to be on.
The inflation sure is burning a hole in the pockets..the Nimbu pani glasses, in our socity have grown smaller (see the oximoron "grown smaller")... I guess the great Indian Economic joyride is over..the callisthemics of the stockmarket only fill you with more trepidations...the new Humpty Dumpty in town my friends is the 'Bombay stock Exchange' :D...And look at the audacity of the Hindustan Times group to hold luxury conferences, when you have such a huge food crisis plagueing our nation...I'm sure one day even the basic dal is going to become a luxury...when the dal at the PDS stores will start rubbing shoulders with Dolce and Gabbana and the like :p. Are the Fashion epiphanies plutoeing out??? God only knows. Fashion still remains an unchartered territory. I guess i'm kinda liking the whole damp squib look so to say, the ill fitting kurta teemed with an equally loose jeans and a jhola slung by my side, and how can i miss out on my specs, the thick brown frame (they play the ghissu look to perfection) ..i look as at ease as snow in Alaska...
Didnt they say "fashion is so unbearable it needs to be changed every two months". and they also say "change is constant". So where exactly does it leave me? nowhere... everythings a vicious circle, starting from the planetary orbits to the nuptial saat pheras... we just go round and round and round...and thatway my life is now round and round ..damn sucking life .. whom life they just goo away from my life why is soo why can't some ppl can't accept why can't they see a good man who will be there for life long i guess ppl are crazy ,may God have different plans for them .. who cares for now ...

life is mystery and it as-usual continuing and we are moving on and on as Every one every person has its different story in his/her life .. "yeh Zindgayi kya hai sach mein why we ppl are alwz complex mujhe lagta God is playing good games with us as dere is a sayin everyday is experience try to be stronger in serious period i guess i'm matured now and can take my own diss ions myself every bad dissions makes me understand the value of life .. sahi mein galati karo tha samajh mein aata hai if Everyone would learn from there mistakes this world would be better place to live isn't ?bhagwan ji itna bhi maat khelo bachoo ki saat why can't we be happy altime why for any reason our heart is missing someone want someone and that doesn't happen ..if U do what that bhak ask u for that kya  aapka kuch begad jayega bhagwan ji..!:)

Anyways ..lets leave it for now .  
Thats all for now, more of my ramblings are still rumbling , hoping they soon grow in crescendo...so till then ciao :)
ps: Life will be life try to struggle in every moment and don't lose hope or don't get frustrated if anyone get frustrated do share your filling with me i can't help u out but i will surly give u support and make u fill good thats i can do.. if any mistakes is happening try to rectify , everyone can get success if we have believe on ourself chahe jitna bhi yeh life round round ghumta rahe .. hope mat chodna  but always remember onething believe on that great lord bhagwan ji hai i think i will succeed in my life if  a " losser" can succeed  then why can't u guys Umeed pe duniya kaayam hai  I hope  i will get a placement and i want to settle my life bahut gaya yaar yeh padhai. :) :)