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Saturday 5 November 2011

can't figure out my life..:(


Still nothing seems to be happening out of the blue... My life's proclivity to never take me by surprise actually astounds me...  the same haggling with the auto wallah to settle for 30 bucks for a ride to my collage to city..the same experiments... the same lunch break... the same ride to the mall near by, the same damn. life.. same borin collage lecture..well These don't do much irritate  to me these days..as exam is coming nearer & courses been completed i'm in such shit now really unable to express my horrifyin exam tension..i don't show up..but frankly i got tensed ,not a single chapter i have started readin..for my exam.. anyways.!!
Although I thank God, good food still works for me... I still don't understand (and this for rapunzel) how can one not be affected by food... How can gastronomic delights never weaken your resolve to put  up some weight desdays..? I am still proud of the fact that I enjoy a good spicy food, gorge on chocolate fudge, am still in love in with butter naan and dal makhni, chocolate truffle still blows the daylights outta me, and I still go on looking at the pastries with star struck eyes at any patissiers, I still do that... And I don't think I am any longer sensitive to the jibes on my figure (yup the muffin tops been kinda increasing in dimension) but what the heck... So I guess some things just penetrate the shell around me... 
 And I continue to straggle with my exam preparation... I am in such shit... I am no where, I'll go nowhere... My inadequacies stand shamelessly exposed, and its disgusting I am doing absolute zilch about it all..i guess i will have . No placements, no mba, leaving everything behind .I cherished once in life, the end of all endings... absolute no beginnings... ha life will hit a dead end... and I can give all of this in writing... hmmm... and its surprising how I don't want to be mowed down by a hurling truck... When I am being mowed down every moment... I don't think I am up to the cut throat competition... it eats me away... it gnaws at me night and day.. I don't think I was ever up there ever, to say I was plutoed out... this is no new feeling... but I guess it was never this bad... my life like my writing has become hackneyed... And I can't chill like my friends tell me.. like many people might just say right now... and go on with the old adage "jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai"... dunno if I still believe in it... 
P.S: need to read from tomorrow and had to ..  for my exam preparation.. seriously..please help me god...!!

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