I guess I am back... but not full throttle... really really tired.. 1 weeks by taking bed rest yak..sleepin in one bed ... absolutely eventful task of 1 weeks... tried bhang felt soo lazy but any how now my harmstring injury is full recovered I can able to walk and guess what can jump too ... somewhere down i just did want to busy wana to feel like studying want to feel the heat heat of collage its been a while I’m missing my collage really bad yaaro don’t know its enough now .. holidays c’om it’s the session starts. Its boring now sitting at home but . Life was beautiful lately..probably a lil into the last week... but the joyride ends like it always has to... I guess I just want to do nothing at all for quite sometime now, at least let things be the way they are... Don't want to clear up the mess.. because I see beneath it all... I know where all of it is headed... Just sick of the fact that why can't things be for the keeps atleast till I've had the most of it... instead of it being snatched away, when you've not even given it a chance to grown on you... I don't know what works keeping expectations or asking for none of it... because you know when things do work out when you least expect them to.. and then when you attach yourself too much its all gone with the wind like it was never there.. like it was never meant to be... really sorry that I am back to my ranting self again... but I do hope to have the sunny side up real soon :)...
Today I was waiting for my lil sis outside her school (which happened to be my school as well) I realised how i had changed so much in these three years... I am still the damp squib around... the old hag... but back in school I was at my best with whatever I did... least bothered about relationship issues or about any sartorial issues... studies and my friends was all that made my world go around... being my crazzy self... laughing my guts out... being respected for whichever way I chose to be... But come college... its become so cumbersome... it gets to me... the run for marks, the tension about placements, , GRADE the works... school had the board tensions... but this is nothing like it... I so sometimes start hating college life... the enjoyment quotient is high but somewhere down I don't think I have forged any ever lasting friendships here... it just doesn't go through... I find myself so incapable of accepting flaws.. accepting the layers... not like I am any saint either... I am probably the biggest bitch around... but college is not such a smooth sail through... school was so insouciant... nothing like it is now... and I wish to go back to school... my vems school days.. the morning assemblies... the moral science lessons.. the game period the staurday activtity day ,house match ,. the parents day practices the chemistry the maths the history everything... the good morning sir... good morning maam... its been long since i wished any of my profs in college... very few even call for that kinda respect... like everything else... it just does not go through... and i am so tired of my long holidays now wana go back to collage atleast its oki no more school in life but I wish I could have rewind my life again..next few days of my holidays . i want to stay back home and relax... but like always time seems to be running out...
ps: I am just raging for now... hopefully will cool down in a while... But for now life is changin & i'm too...!
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