its birthday time ..Thanks U Buddies :-)

so its my birthday  happy birthday soumya,!! :)

.It was the best birthday i could have asked for thanks to my friends and the hordes of wishes that came my way... long gone are my days as a teenager, not like they were anything to write home about. So yaa  treated my friends with nothing than a very warm thanks a lot than to say anything really birthdays are really special in everyone life it’s the only special day I feel where u get “N”. number of wishes hugging best of luck for good further ahead and blessing from elders and love and affection from friends relatives and families .Thanks to God for giving me nice friends ,family and my well wisher who alwz wishes me.. the most intresting part about birthday is U alwz expect and assumes who gona wish u .. I’ keep on guessing and I’m very happy all wished me.. and who ever havn’t also wished me .. wished me belated ,it feels soo great … i feel happy when someone wishes .me. anyways..!! feels nice getting a birthday present from my uncle parents and from my friends..  And guess what Team India gave me the best gift what a match and what a revenge what a win what a entertainment it surly made my day watchin firstly sehwag quick hittin 30 and God-sachin awsum touch it’s a treat to watch and what comes next virat stupendous hitting  smashin 133* oh god and winin in style with more 13 overs to spare and chasin 321 on 36.4 ovr amazing great great batting by india :).woowww   and thanks atonne my fellow bloggers for wishing me... thanks a tonne...and to all everybody else who made STD calls and messages and wished me on orkut and facebook thank u thank u thanks a lot 

life is all about feelings and being happy .soo I’m writing this with all my happy feelings and sharing with u al..! last few days of my life been very good I’m so thank ful to god .thank u . yes I promised u to read for this sem. And to do well in examz and I had realized yaa hard work is everything unless u do hardwork u won’t expect for a good result ,i’m focused  and I will try harder to  do well.. but God please continue this happy days so that I can happily do well in examz  well apart from philosophizing 

and yaa i've been keeping myself busy with other things too.. whether be classes, reading, talking, helping around at home (Ma's so happy) and , assignments etc. just to keep myself from philosophising, well it has helped my case to a certain extent. read up three books.which I borrowed from y friend - 'the JApanese wife' by Kunal Basu, ' one afternoon' by Roma Bansal and 'the zoya factor' by anuja chauhan. One afternoon makes for a really weird read. Japanese wife is kinda melancholic.. with most f the characters in the short stories trying to run away from grief. As to Zoya factor, absolutely loved it... must read for all... you'll love the humour, the cricket, the protagonists, inshort everything about it...  well I desperate to read my favorite writer book  ohooo my nikita singh and durjoy dutta book I will start it after my mid sem over .  “if its not forever its not Love.

• But for now I have to read for my mid sem and do well simple.

·          And

·         Chinmaya .,babloo Chandra. ajay. I will never forget ur wishes bro’s  on my birthday dudes . ha ha,,aah thoda tha reham karte acha gift diya  sallo rukoo aapna aapna birthday aane doo.. mein bhi return dunga the good gifts u gave me rukoo ESPEICALLY babloo ! :-P :-D

·          

·         Ps:that is all that is there for now... hoping i did not kill you of boredom. i sign off..

·          

•  

I have to be postive & patient & persistent !!!

With the Advaita number 'so lost' playing and sreeya ghosal broken promises in the background right now, No other song could better describe my situation right now... the vacuous stare at the screen as I type this post out... with memories, worries, sadness, disillusion all running amok in my head... An abyss opens out to me... Don't know what to feel... Don't know if this is what I'd wanted... whether anythings worth it at all... All that I am striving to achieve... Hoping to have in my life... is it worth the peace of my mind that I am loosing right now... and how much more ironical can my life be... Side by side as I write the profile for my dept for the companies to be coming in for placement in our college... I am the last person to be feeling for my branch at all... Somehow I've never come to make much of my engineering degree at all... I study for merely perfunctory reasons and I guess my marks are a reflection of the same.. yup dismal performance is so conspicuous by its presence... Or probably my brains been reduced to a sieve which fails me every time... so much for my hubris... makes me laugh at myself... From the sepia tinged memories of pride to the grime reality of being an absolute nobody... whose so bloody incapable of anything... And the person I'd hoped to hear me out, stand by me appears so far away... So distant... Irony hits you hard you realise... Accepting my inadequacies is becoming a herculean task... adjusting my dreams to their limitations, breaks me... Why is this happening to me? Where did I go so horribly wrong? where is the silver lining? The emptiness engulfs me... when is this this below average existence end? Have I run after all the wrong things in my life? Have I forgotten myself, forgotten valueing myself? Why am I looking for excuses... When will I rise above this all... will I ever?? Its a long road ahead... And I hope the blurry vision will eventually clear out... I hope the blues will fade out to a xanthous sky... I hope to see my nescience finally becoming a thing of the past... and I finally achieving what I truely deserve... I wait... I wait for love.. I wait for happiness... I wait for freedom...

so finally my god forsaken exams result are out... I guess I fared just about ok...but not ok. As I had kept my expectation low thatway I hadn’t had much pain or shock after hearing great news.. And i guess I'd let my results do the talking whenever they come in.oho oki leave it now... Life's been decent enough.before this result came out...my eventful and beautiful third year will be comin  to an end..after this sem.. A heart warming year... A year of many first's... And i hope life continues on this note... But sometimes life puts me in such quandaries... my inability to tell things to people on their face to avoid uncomfortable situations gets to me... for once i want to be real honest with people and tell them this is what I don't like in them... I don't like them commenting on my life, on the way I was, on the way I look... On how I work... I hate it when people pick on raw wounds, pick on my ego, pick on things way too personal for me... I don't like it... Probably you people don't intend to hurt me but somewhere down it pinches me... Some things don't go down well with me... They just don't so spare me... :)

ahhh so well, the feeling of being mediore just seems to be resounding back again and again.. The pre placement talk gives me the feeling of being from outter space, with the loud talk on some gibberish computer language and how my fellow batchmates have figured things out so well in their lives and ofcourse their pompous asses just fart their way through the ramble.

Apart from all of the material aspect to being all to myself, I'd like to fend all for myself. Learning to live in a new city, meeting new people who are not even remotely related to my past. I'd want a new beginning starting from scratch. From finding my own accommodation, to locating the local kirana store, to finding a good book store or/and library and a cafe. And I guess I'd not want any men in my life then, at least nobody I could reach out to immediately, I'd want to deal with my own upheavals, my own happiness, cross roads on my own without this instinctive grab for an arm (my hand does have a mind of his own), ask my friends.

So lets come to reality now..well Life has not been smooth for me. will that what life it is for every one.and its  all about I have one chance to repay back my last sem hopeless performance is to perform in this sem..will this will make me some relief & I’m desperate time to perform..its high time now. Not taking stress not taking pain and not taking some much of negative from this sem.. I need to work hard simplest thing I can do than to think about my future..!

Ps: stop thinkin much about this shit shut up and start doing work out.. work harder  learn from the mistake .that what I have to do..& without copying anyone..i have to bother about my life and what I want to do than to follow certain person..anyways I hope I come out strong and mostly be positive to perform be < optimistic > .!!

Till then ta ta..Cyaa..

Agneepath verdict ..:)

Sooo last  night had good sleep but in the end had a short nap as I wake up this morning  very early according  to  mine..Sunday’s regular get up timing table . actually had gone to bed late almost 4am of nite as like another night lying awake, asking to myself..dear sleep where r u? can i see u tonight huh?Asking  like an idiot to myself..but awaken at the most unearthly hours of the night..its a real super class experience I tell u guys its gud time becaz its so relaxing hour so calm midnite time is real meant for a sound sleeps or to pass your time in some important work..if we use that time in morely in consumptive way then stayin awaken is is worth majesties experience   as I was feelin bore soo thought to write something as  my last post yesterday only I posted..and just tryied to read some of the lesson of my computer network subj. as to  pass that boringness being alone.. and to make me feel good as I’m using this time in Morley in a  wise way as this a formality reading at  waking up at the most unearthly hours of the night... and opening my vocab funda book only to open it just to make me fill relax atleast I’m doing some effort for this sem ..that will built of confidence in more upcoming unearthly hours of the night J

 Soo coming to today its was Sunday  a beautiful day again..cool morning sun is shining and gentle breeze..typical morning at his best again.what I really about morning...so I was up and had nice cup coffee for me..then after an hour planned how to spend my Sunday soo thought of to goo some movies or anywhere just to have chillout and to pass this Sunday…finally made up my mind to have a movie either in matinee show or evenin show…

Its AGNIPATH..as in my last post I had mentioned about I’m looking to this high class hard hitting  ,dwells on strong emotions and aggressive and forceful action as I was a fan of that of that “vijay chachan” iconic character portrayed by sri.Amitabh Bachchan two decades ago.

Which is still fresh in everyone mind..for his tedious acting skill he also received National award for that charcter also..soo I was quit excited how Hrithik Roshan's turn to wear the mask of that iconic character …as I’m movieholic person soo..gone to cinema hall with lots of exceptation and with more excitement..guess what I’m not disappointed this time !!:)

Oohoooo from the beginning to end and after being out of cinema hall also  I was in a state of shock..How beautifully hritik acted it was mindblowing stuff.. He does not emulate the veteran's portrayal of Vijay Dinanath Chauhan. Instead, he approaches the character in his own distinctive mode. Wow HIGH FIVE for  hirtik J

'Agneepath' is an uncomplicated story of revenge, is hard-hitting yet I found its such more entertaining, dwells on strong emotions and aggressive and forceful action, and yet is dissimilar from the original. The most popular dialogues of all time in bollywood.. yet again I able to see by this time from a new vijay J

"Naam Vijay Chauhan, baap ka naam Dinanath Chauhan, gaon Mandwa."

Ooohoo The action scenes are sure to draw my whistles and claps especially the one in the finale he was taking his revenge  kaachaa sanju baba surly lukin like a evil actually this negative roll  suits him…yet truly a maestros performance by this veteran star after munna bhai series..this can be yet another defining moment for his carrer…

Agneepath its a classic and a must watch... The adaptation of modern day milieu into an old iconic story has been beautifully rendered... the music just adds to the beauty... each song is so different from the other...as according to story line its all suits …mostly I loved the background music and the entry of Kanchaa sanju baba..hmmm I was kinda toying with the idea of singing “chickni chamali” song for my fest this time... But i know the chicken would get the better of me... so much for my dreams...;) 

I am so hoping the languor continues cheers..:)

January goin to end.. hopefully everyone should had a gud month as its just de starter beginning of new year 2012 and lots to come..hope everyone should had a good month ..

Wishing this coming feburary will also  brings lots of peace and happiness in each and everyone life and all get success and me too cheers..

Once again Wishing everybody a Very Happy Valentines!! :)

Ps: need to go get to studying real soon… and to be more practical and do my work in time and complete my lesson’s and then enjoy my life as they've been the most beautiful days of my life the last three days... the usually ephemeral state of affairs in my life..hopefully this happiness carryon and at the same time I should give more attention’s towards my studies and work really hard for this sem..!cya :)

Happy valentine day to all :)

So was a beautiful day... The sun's all bright and shiny and warm... Just the way I love it... Had ma's wonderful upma and sambar...in mornin breakfast..!

Have today's newspaper to sieve through and most importantly the edit and the Leo predictions... Its a different thing I forget all the sooth saying the minute after I've read it... According to the predictions I was to happy a beautifully romantic year ahead...and this february Where I'll meet my soul mate... what a crap?

 

will you be my valentine?

                                                              

you'd always be the one for me...<3

When its a lonely valentine that I am looking forward to... 3 hours of labs 2 hours of lecture 2 hour of coaching and then back home... life is so strangely mundane and predictive...

Probably my coachin teacher might just brighten up my mood... Haha Mr Sunshine's all gone...and here comes the Bard himself... He's the best teacher I've come across in a really long time...  His sense of humour, the style of teaching, the generous dose of one liners... his sing song way of talking and explaining prepositions... Its like seeing art at work... I could go ga ga goo goo over him... But strangely micey's conclusion from all of it is "our teacher's in love"... 

 

The whole world seems to be in love except me... I don't know what is to be like in love... I have seen such extremes... Don't know what it takes to be in love? Love in itself is too strong a word... For me to say I love a certain person would be too big a thing to declare... hate for the same reason is too strong an emotion... and sometimes you imagine a lot of these emotions... You believe you love him/her... but sometimes the whole gravity of the situation pulls you down and gives you a rude reality check... and sometimes love becomes as perfunctory as brushing your teeth... I know for some its a ritual brushing teeth that is... my sis spends a good half an hour giving her pearly whites a foam bath... If she had her way she would have had a jacuzzi fitted in... 

 

So coming back to the love thing... I have always been "the forever the good friend never the girl friend" types... And sometimes although it is gratifying it does get frustrating... I mean people come and bitch about their gf about how she wasn't there when he really needed her and all that crap... and shirk away from the girl who was always there...it does kinda get to you... But then you realise if a person could not connect with you then he could never possibly have... you forge ever lasting relationships during the trying times... if you don't bond then you never will... Anyway probably all of this used to make a difference to me now it doesn't... The person on the other end should also be worth it all?? I am happy I wrenched him out of life... Its like removing a vestigial organ... (Chetan Bhagat inspired philosophy)... But life's come full circle... I stand at crossroads again... And hoping I will take the right decisions... I don't want any of the love crap... I was once upon a time a true blue romantic not anymore... Life's given me enough reasons to stir clear of it all...

soo before the starts of  feb month..before the starts of valentines week ..wishin all very happy committed couples young folks and troops..&

Wishing everybody a Very Happy Valentines!! :)

in advance kya pata "Kal hoo na hoo " :)

 

ps: looking forward to work hard for this semester.

pps:looking forward to Agnipath -movie  startin with superhero hritik ,indian KANE -sanju baba, jungli bili-priyanka..;)and ofcourse chikini chamali -KAT ;)

ppps: need to go get to studying real soon... And I seem to be waking up at the most unearthly hours of the night... and opening my vocab funda book only to open it and crash again... but i need to get down to studying before its too late...

life is changin And i'm too :)

I guess I am back... but not full throttle... really really tired.. 1 weeks by taking bed rest yak..sleepin in one bed ... absolutely eventful  task of 1  weeks... tried bhang felt soo lazy but any how now my harmstring injury is full recovered I can able to walk and guess what can jump too ... somewhere down i just did want to busy  wana to  feel like studying  want to feel the heat heat of collage its been a while I’m missing my collage really bad yaaro don’t know its enough now .. holidays c’om it’s the session starts. Its boring now sitting at home but . Life was beautiful lately..probably a lil into the last week... but the joyride ends like it always has to... I guess I just want to do nothing at all for quite sometime now, at least let things be the way they are... Don't want to clear up the mess.. because I see beneath it all... I know where all of it is headed... Just sick of the fact that why can't things be for the keeps atleast till I've had the most of it... instead of it being snatched away, when you've not even given it a chance to grown on you... I don't know what works keeping expectations or asking for none of it... because you know when things do work out when you least expect them to.. and then when you attach yourself too much its all gone with the wind like it was never there.. like it was never meant to be... really sorry that I am back to my ranting self again... but I do hope to have the sunny side up real soon :)...

Today I was waiting for my lil sis outside her school (which happened to be my school as well) I realised how i had changed so much in these three years... I am still the damp squib around... the old hag... but back in school I was at my best with whatever I did... least bothered about relationship issues or about any sartorial issues... studies and my friends was all that made my world go around... being my crazzy self... laughing my guts out... being respected for whichever way I chose to be... But come college... its become so cumbersome... it gets to me... the run for marks, the tension about placements, , GRADE the works... school had the board tensions... but this is nothing like it... I so sometimes start hating college life... the enjoyment quotient is high but somewhere down I don't think I have forged any ever lasting friendships here... it just doesn't go through... I find myself so incapable of accepting flaws.. accepting the layers... not like I am any saint either... I am probably the biggest bitch around... but college is not such a smooth sail through... school was so insouciant... nothing like it is now... and I wish to go back to school... my vems school days.. the morning assemblies... the moral science lessons.. the game period the staurday activtity day ,house match ,. the parents day practices the chemistry the maths the history everything... the good morning sir... good morning maam... its been long since i wished any of my profs in college... very few even call for that kinda respect... like everything  else... it just does not go through... and i am so tired of my long holidays now wana go back to collage atleast  its oki no more school in life but I wish I could have rewind my life again..next few days of my holidays . i want to stay back home and relax... but like always time seems to be running out...
ps: I am just raging for now... hopefully will cool down in a while... But for now life is changin & i'm too...!

its been a quite a gud morning..!:)

Its two days into holidays and I am enjoying the procrastination to say the least. Thankfully I am finally getting back to my book worm self, bought two books the other day 'the unbearable lightness of being' by Milan Kundera and  sachin garg-it's First Love! just lilke the last one.. will  whenever he writes he write with his  long lasting thought. All I can ..from last nite I have readin it’s a nice book.

In his novel 'I'm Not Twenty Four', released in 2010, he has written an unusual story of a Delhi girl who landed in a small village in the middle of nowhere.. although i havn't read  that book  but heard lot about that books from my friends..he is very gud writer.....
  And now comes my fav. Nikita Singh .the author for young mass ppl  reading now "Accidentally In Love" its awsum one must say.. thanks to" niki"  who uses her thought soo well.. i think i'm in love with her writin skills..when I first read her “love @ facebook” I had first got impression she is going to make an impact among all reader’s out here hmm truly I love her writin.skills .and who can ignore her beauty well she is very beautiful likes her blogs  so much  ;)
She is been an inspiration to many blogger out here.. in her last blog she wrote a line i can alwz remember will she wrote and i can't stop smile this " It can be Ankita, right? Or Niharika. Nivedita. What’s so special about Nikita?! well i can say.. dere are many nikita but dere  sumthng  special in nikita "singh" that way mr.R wrote about u in his book i guess nikita knws it preety well. ,she is very a humble persun I can  say.by readin her blogs I realized her heart is that much cute as she luk..hmm if anyone could ask me to give best author of today’s young generation then I would blindly give to “nikita singh”  .:)
Although the two books weren't really required to be bought because I already have a   back log but does that ever stop anybody from laying your hands on new books.umm L Also I really need to start reading the edits of newspapers, this self inflicted deprivation has only added to my ignorance. And I have finally started to get hold of philosophy which was so beyond me at some point in time. And from whatever lil I have read of it some of the theories definitely appear outrageous to me, whoever thought that woman was a castrated male and therefore should be given the position lower than man and her virtue of compassion was in fact her weakness. First up I find such views absolutely preposterous and when confronted with them I just try to not meet eyes with it. That is how I have been, when I find something really disgusting or gory I just run away from it, so much so even when in movies a gory scene comes in I just close my eyes, gore and blood is not me…..
Morning is been gud so far.. wake up early today.. had a nice breakfast too omelet and roti.. and some snacks.. Now listening to Indian rocks music. Indian rock band Aagman –teri kami hmm  And Shafqat Amanat Ali - Tum Mile (Rock ) :)

Wishing every one a happy weekend..& spend  nice time with your family and friends.. go to beach and enjoy the new year 1^st weekend cheers mates .
Ps : But life will be life... unpredictable and fickle as ever... and we'd be just caught adjusting to the vicissitude…enjoy every moment and never fell bore sumthng which u enjoys doin ..and I beat u that not call the waste of time. Soo cheers.. *whistle*  !!