thrown in by-soumya
So well... life the past couple of weeks hasn't been much to write home.. . my life is completely messed up these days...last week was has been a bad & a very painful week for me.. .my cousin bro. grandmaa more the she is my grand maa too..as we are belonging to a joint family. well she passes away on holy day of early morning of dusshera ..i cryied for alomost 2days still in a shock but i relaise as its the greatest truth in everyone's life oneday we vl also say good bye to this world..so i consolidated .myself such mishaps happens
will..i'm not sad for these incident desdays..i guess for other reason not getting inner satisfication and not happy with my life .i feel my soul is unable to breath with this world not any more..may be i'm sad may be i'm missing someone but how still can't figure out? why i'm sad i dont' know.
perhaps i won't want to stay here any more..may be some natural place aah yaa nature may help me from coming out what ..i'm healing desdays yaa i can Only leave my breathless Motion,The decision to Only Move On after that ,,.. Somewhere down the line.. being the 'nobody loser' has become the bottom line of my life... I mean, I fail to see the silver lines in the 'sundriness' of my luck... and my God-forsaken life...
But then again I have to bounce back, coz life leaves you with no other option but to trudge along even if it means that your sole wears out in the long run up to the coveted life that we all dream off... Such is life they say... where the dissatisfaction and the disgruntlement keeps you going and at times just takes a toll... marks they say are small things but are they not the statistics that dictate the terms of your life momentarily... probably i am a 'marks-starved' kid... and these things definitely do get me worked up... especially when I see myself being treated as a lesser mortal, all for no fault... Good sense is conspicuous by its absence... and depression way too ominous...
Sometimes you do wish to become oblivious to certain things of your life, pull the blinds to certain aspects but you cling on to what hurts you the most... the sadist and the cynic laugh out loud... things go bad once and you start picking on old wounds again, forgetting that you'l still carry the scar... and everything bleeds and singes... I do at times forget all that holds me down in my life, and prepare to fly only to remember that I need the earth too... Probably right now I sound all mixed up and dont make sense... but that is how muddled up i am... A precarious case of nerves, who lives on the extremes and still looks for ambivalence... means coexistence of opposing my feeling..
ps: i knw ..Bahut zyaada philosophy ho gaya ! its bit philosophical down the line..will what to do suffering from depression ..i myself also don't know what to write..
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