last month of this year been blissful..!"Happy new year to all "

lifes been blissful since the last month..obivious no classes no collage no workin hour.. yeah its bit too borin ofcourse..but and I can never thank God enough... I used to always undermine myself... oh I'm the only one leading the dullest and drabbiest of lives i just to myself ? no... frankly I've just been given too much on my platter in such a short period... Found a great friend in the last month... Jiju you've been a great support... and I can never thank you enough!!! And thanks to all my fellow bloggers who've dropped in..and my friends.. really without any support in life we can't do anything as in SRk Airtel add truely showed "Akele hum kuch bhi nai". given me the soundest of advices..and hopes thanks u friends loved to be with u.. You people have continued to keep that smile intact.... thank you!! thank you!! thank you!!! Continue your good work, as I reciprocate the good deeds done to me... its a selfish world out there!! *hugs*
Things to get started and the big task is comin proably in next week or soo as this will be the year's end last week.. well this year is been very up and down in my life.. Things not gone easily may be  i hadn't tryied soo hard.. really my new   resoultion for new year  will be "just be urself Aapna kaam khud karo bhai and don't interfere in other business and don't try to impress anyone.. ofcourse "hard hard work..is the key for sucess " i'm sure this will do every thing.. . my last sem exam is just screwed i know what my fault soo i dn't wana repeat this time i focus fully and desperate to score gud ,thanks this winter vacation i'm able to make up my mind  and feelin relax ,Right now I feel like things are gonna get better from now on. I love this feeling :) I feel happy again ....feelings are really a present state of mind..its so delicate in everyone life.!:)
 hoping the joyride does not end... For happiness only makes you more vulnerable... And i'm scared i just might be back to my old self!! okies guyss..

 HAPPY NEW YEAR!
To all my family and friends.
I hope the new year brings many happy and wonderful wishes to you and your family and friends.
ps: lastly to have a peace of mind i analyses is  all you have to do is be yourself and live the story that no one else can live- the story of your own unique life. be proud. be confident. and most of all, be urself..GOD is with me..thank u god .. i wish new year ,this year gona be my year and be very gud year for all  bas aacha hoo lucky year hoo to bring back  some happy memories. cheers:)

feel really nostalgic

I kinda got down to reading my old diary last night... about my past few years..
the two years through college stared back at me... the stupid me...
 somebody who believed nothing could ever possibly work out the way she wanted in her life...
 the boy who just couldn't move on... kept going through the vicious circle again and again...
making resolutions of working hard for his exams,and telling to himself focus but moving over, about never learning from his mistake ...

 which were broken the very moment they were made... the enumerous crushes through the years...exactly i can't say its crushes its just a likeness..for few mins or soo;-) the misread signs... the small glories... the dreams of being swept off my feet... of finally finding the one... made me feel really nostalgic.... and made me realise how far I'd come... how far my life had come... how I'd matured through the years... picked myself through dire straits... how I no longer was a kid... how I was responsible for every aspect of my life... How I'd come to find the people in my life and what they were to mean in my life... Life's evolved through the various vicissitudes... I am hoping I've improved... For rest..

 life continues to be bright and sundry with the beautiful over cast weather and very cold foggy  just adding to it... so long... will be back soon...
gearing up to back to the grind... hoping I do...

 Yesterday its been a gud day spend most of times in worshiping god .gone.. to almighty...visited different temples and felt very relax ,it's been many days i have been telling myself. to god temples finally so i'm happy for yesterday..!..
my very happy and thank ful to god  giving me another day to see through my life. and quite blissful for him i'm alright
ps: hopefully new resolution new year will make my life more peaceful..

things are not goin well....:(.!!

thrown by-soumya..!!

It's funny how my sabbatical just lasted over a couple of days... Hmmm well right now writing is the only thing that is keeping me going and the comments that come in... its so heart warming the way everybody reached out when I was feeling down in the dumps even though you people don't know me personally... it really feels nice...

So getting on with it... in order to tie up all the loose ends, I ended up cutting all the loose strands... as in went for a hair cut, which has gone horribly wrong... all in my bid to just change something in my life... I am so thankful to man's invention of the tic tacs, the only reason I can bear my sight is because of them...

 And yaa my blast from the past, went horribly awry that too in an aphrodisiac way... But now, somehow the truth no longer makes a difference to me... Don't know why?? As if there's so much shit just waiting to happen, this seemed just a sneek peek into it all... Do I feel the loss? Don't know... Probably when I am all tired and lonely, i'll start missing you... But I'd never have wanted things to take such a turn...

And yaa the most important of all, my last semester was a diaster for me.. i don't want to blame anyone..except me. for  screwin up.. a real mess seriouly oh god..what going on..but this time..i have to score good grades and focus completely on this entire sem.. well i feel life will be good automatically after coming out of this mess.... so that i will be more comfortable & relax.. the way  last sem went, I won't be surprised if i end up at the bottom... SO much for my on goin dreams... WHy don't I just accept the fact that I am inept? That I am not the store house of grey cells that I consider myself to be... When others had their mark sheets full of those darkened circles I just had a few adorning mine... And i know my strike rate's gonna be even more worse... I just make peace with the fact that hopefully I'd not be there to see my dismal performance thanks to my trip and see my numbness being laid bare infront of my college mates... God it was such a bad idea joining with people from the college, I would have been comfortable with a certain degree of anonymity in the class... Atleast you know I'd have more chances of salvaging my pride and not be looked down with a smug look... enviro walen hain inko kyaa aata hai... (Chetan Bhagat inspired philosophy)...although  But life's come full circle..now . I stand at crossroads again... And hoping I will take the right decisions... I don't want any of the love crap... please..and other outside stress shit *..* this time gona fully focus and no more times pass..! life is very simple but casulality makin me in trouble all time.. not  any more..!

Hmmm got back to my friend I'd been missing out on for a couple of months now... And realised how the both of us could find company in the rut we'd found ourselves in... And its fun to get his wise cracks after a long time... I seem to have been missing out on them... his inate sense of humour bowls me over everytime... it appears so effortless... But the humour does get to your nerves when you really need a hear out... So yeah the both us for now are directionless... all the winding roads appear the same... don't know which one to take...

I for one look forward to things changing for the better for once, you know high time things did change... or probably having the strength to deal with what ever more is in store...

So long...

ps: hoping the trip turns out just fine... ohh god please no more screw ups...have to focus on my future and have do well for me and for my parents..!!

some facts about my life...

so here's mine second part about mine..... A tag...
Thrown in by Som

well yeah I have been an absolute lazy ass in terms of doing tags... But don't I guess I wanted to a tag to probably rid myself of this huge writer's block I've been suffering from since long... So here's the tag that enchanting my frnds tagged me for... that is 25 things about me, myself and I... Hoping the soliloquy turns out to be an interesting read... the torture starts now... but have a cup of coffee sit back and relax..and read..!!:)

1.    I laugh too easily... and I mean way too easily... give me the most lamest of pjs.... jokes most devoid of humour and you'll still see a 100 watt dental display... But I guess that is because I like the good deed returned... but ofcourse I see my senility being returned with scowls and head bangs...
2.    I don't cry that easily... but i guess i get affected with every effing thing people have got to say about me... I am not the sorts to say I don't care what the people talk about me, because yes siree I very well do... And its a very prised company which has every seen a couple of tears trickle down... and the blow ups usually happen in private...
3.    At one point in time I was completely glued to the goggle box... to such an extent that I used to screw up my exams because of my addiction... watched the most incredulous of K-soaps...and then I moved on to the more cerebral ones... to the likes of Ally Mc Beal, Grey's anatomy... Dunno never developed a fondness for Friends ever... But now its been close to a month since I've watched a decent soap on tv... 
4.    I so absolutely love music... And I am to all genres... but more attuned to the slower ones... And I love my spicmacay concerts... Find them strangely romantic (ie the ones held in the gandhi park)... And I can do the best of maths questions or numericals with my ears plugged... And I hate people who cannot look beyond rock... and disrespect classical music of any form... And I love my radio and love lending my ear to even the western classical music that comes up on AIR... classical music has this strange capability of pacifying... and quelling all the raging turbulence inside...
5.    I hate double standards... i so abhor them... especially Indian hypocrisy gets to me... I don't want to elaborate because all you'll get is a never ending tirade... I guess I'll dedicate another post to it...
6.    I hate brand conscious people... I understand brands mean quality but branding people for the way they dress is despicable and the worst kind of disrespect to a human being... Who are you to question somebody's dressing sense... Its not you whose wearing them or are you...
7.    I love long walks... walking on winding roads with green brown foliage around... on rough dusty decrepit run down roads... exploring unknown alleys...
8.    make for a really good listener than a talker... If you can make me talk to my hearts content when I am physically present infront of you then you've achieved a herculean task... because my garrulity is at display with a only a few people... I've realised I express myself better when I write... it just comes easily to me...
9.    Among the few things that I so wish to have is real good poetry skills... till date I've written just a couple of poems and which are as hackneyed as they can get...
10.    I so wish to be half as knowledgeable as my dad or ma or my kid sis or you yogi bear for that matter... I am mind numbingly dumb and I so want to hide my face whenever you people test my ignorance..:( I so want to be intellectually sound... I am no where near the epiphany I have for myself...
11.    I don't want to continue with engineering anymore or rather with the fucked up system of my college where nothing works.. hardwork intelligence are so alein a term in our college.. or probably I've just not tried enough... whatever the case may be... I am just doing it because i chose to associate myself with it 3 years back...and being an Indian kid I cannot drop out of the system...
12.    I so want to pursue english at the masters level and it my calling but dunno how far will be able to make that dream of mine successful...
13.    Some years down the line I'd definitely would want to pen down a book which would really go down in history for all the right reasons that is... I don't mind a Pulitzer or an Orange Prize in return for it... that would be the ultimate zenith for me... I want nothing beyond it all...
14.    How can I forget i love chocolates in any form... any brand... nutty, plain anything will do.. but milky bar is a no-no... I love chocolate cakes.... And I can kill for chocolate truffle...
15.    I thank God for all the friends that I've been blessed with so far... because everybody's added that lil flavour in my life... I know I've erred.. but to forgive is stupidity... and you've reaffirmed my belief that birds of a feather flock together...;) you've irritated me but then again you are all that I have got...
16.    I am a big chicken at heart... but I've improved a lot... but I am long way to go...
17.    I am way too diplomatic a person... I cannot hurt a fly...
18.    I hold on to grudges like nobody else does... I might say I've forgiven you but it'll be long way off till the time I really do...
19.    I am really bad with stomaching secrets... Plz never trust me with your secrets or i guess i am extremely whimsical with them... I choose to share whichever secrets I want to share with you... and nothing beyond that...
20.    I love early  mornings... I just love the early morning din that welcomes me... the cool placid breeze, he chirping birds, the scampering squirrels, the slightly swaying trees... the kids all up and ready in crisp white uniforms... the fresh newspaper... absolutely everything does the trick for me...i wake up 4.30 am everyday..i love early morning seriouly.........!!!
21.    phew what else... I am a true blue romantic... I don't like grandiose in terms of romance and love but the subtler and sudden the gestures the more heart warming... probably something like a surprise note or remembering the most off hand of things that I've told you... it works for me...
22.    I think I am very good with assessing people... Atleast I can make out which are the ones I can get along with and the ones I cannot... but then again I guess everybody else can...
23.    I can never understand how looks can ever be a criteria when you are finding your soul mate... I mean can you take a good looking stupid slob for a bf who cannot even understand your underhanded jokes... or two times you... but then again love is blind
24.    I don't believe in love at first sight but definitely there are vibes you immediately get from a person which can make you bond...
25.    And last but not least I think I've made a big decision in a few days time, and I hope to make it work for me and for the individual in concern as well... No screw ups what so ever...
phew that was something... and it felt good writing all of it down... Anybody who wants to do the tag is more than welcome to do it... till then ciao...
ps: ... I loved doing the tag... was kinda therapeutic...thanks..:)

can't figure out my life..:(

Still nothing seems to be happening out of the blue... My life's proclivity to never take me by surprise actually astounds me...  the same haggling with the auto wallah to settle for 30 bucks for a ride to my collage to city..the same experiments... the same lunch break... the same ride to the mall near by, the same damn. life.. same borin collage lecture..well These don't do much irritate  to me these days..as exam is coming nearer & courses been completed i'm in such shit now really unable to express my horrifyin exam tension..i don't show up..but frankly i got tensed ,not a single chapter i have started readin..for my exam.. anyways.!!

Although I thank God, good food still works for me... I still don't understand (and this for rapunzel) how can one not be affected by food... How can gastronomic delights never weaken your resolve to put  up some weight desdays..? I am still proud of the fact that I enjoy a good spicy food, gorge on chocolate fudge, am still in love in with butter naan and dal makhni, chocolate truffle still blows the daylights outta me, and I still go on looking at the pastries with star struck eyes at any patissiers, I still do that... And I don't think I am any longer sensitive to the jibes on my figure (yup the muffin tops been kinda increasing in dimension) but what the heck... So I guess some things just penetrate the shell around me... 

 And I continue to straggle with my exam preparation... I am in such shit... I am no where, I'll go nowhere... My inadequacies stand shamelessly exposed, and its disgusting I am doing absolute zilch about it all..i guess i will have . No placements, no mba, leaving everything behind .I cherished once in life, the end of all endings... absolute no beginnings... ha life will hit a dead end... and I can give all of this in writing... hmmm... and its surprising how I don't want to be mowed down by a hurling truck... When I am being mowed down every moment... I don't think I am up to the cut throat competition... it eats me away... it gnaws at me night and day.. I don't think I was ever up there ever, to say I was plutoed out... this is no new feeling... but I guess it was never this bad... my life like my writing has become hackneyed... And I can't chill like my friends tell me.. like many people might just say right now... and go on with the old adage "jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai"... dunno if I still believe in it... 
P.S: need to read from tomorrow and had to ..  for my exam preparation.. seriously..please help me god...!!

Motivation matter's in life.. to dream big :)

thrown by soumya 
In everyone's life there is some sad and happy moments but we should cherish every moment of our life ,life   its been a  highway sum times up and downs ,but something we should set a goal for our self..and to achieve that, many things i had read but  yesterday i was reading a inspirational lines and enjoyin to inspirational speeches of all great man startin from ..i got many postives from those meaningful lines..
so wana share..how we wana live life..here as follow :)

• 1.set a goal for yourself
• 2.Smile as often as you can
• 3.Share your happiness
• 4.Be ready to help "people"
• 5.Be Childish as u can :))
• 6.Learn to Live in harmony with others..
• 7.keep your humor,don't be soo serious in life..
• 8.Don't be afrid under difficult situation
• 9.forgive yes,forgive.
• 10.cherish real friendship..
• 11.Be co-opertive and enjoy team work..
• 12.yes Don't ignore your loved one..
• 13.Be confident..
• 14.Respect the weak.
• 15.Spoil yourself occastionally..<<yeh tha banta hai>> :)
• 16.Forgive everyone yes forgive..
• 17.Be brave and Try New Things..
• 18.Do not take money too  seriouly..

   well True love is not something that comes everyday,follow your heart,it knows the right answer..isn't..!i know this motivational speech just motivates..but can't earn money which is mostly important in today's world. yaa i know we can't do anything in life unless we became succesful and start earnin ..well  " Brain Tracy"  said one thing i remembered.."To earn more,you must learn more" ,soo keep learning and  keep sharing everything...:)
lastly in "Albert Einstein words.."Try to become not a  man of success,but try rather to become a man of values"
cheers..:)  
                             
  For now life's running smoothly, become almost a saint....given up on the moh maya   ...*wink* *wink*....and accepted the dull and drabbiness of my life....theres this worldly wisdom thats dawned on me..and its sheer bliss this side....And I've kind of stopped seeing life through rose tinted glasses for now, cause the whole brashness blinds me, and demands a rather myopic view of it..none the less I carry on, with my own share of practicality and pragmatism...taking all dissapointments in my stride...as I whistle away the song of life....another lesson learnt from my college life is
"dont ever have expectations, they most often let you down...." but as the world says...

umeed pe duniya kayam hai....life becomes almost ambivalent in nature...
P.S.: did I ever mention i was a bag of contradictions...i guess the post's ample proof...

Expressing about myself with a rapid fire questions.:)

Thrown in by Som

So here goes the tag, Express has tagged me on...

1. What does my user name mean?
For everybody who knows their Hindi well, would know Soumya means to do things on your own or the self sufficient...and in a beautiful way originally soumya means beautiful  but  happens to save the trouble of calling me by my full name Soumyajeet which means the self established in a beautiful way wanted to win every moment of my life..... People play around with my name, tease me saying that Soumyaaa is a girl name, well I so love my name and love the fact that it is so uniqueness in it.., that there is just no one i feel in my branch  in of my college and that it happens to be eponymous for a Government programme for Women Empowerment.. Well so much for my name...soumyaa-beautiful...well i'm  not a girl thatsway ppl calls me SOM :P c'om..:))

2. Elaborate on your user photo..
Well it just happens to be me lazying on the couch reading Shalimar the Clown...

3. How many comments do you have?
Can we pass this question... Statistics is not me...

4. Whats your current relationship status?
happy with which ever way the status is..:P

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A blue jersey mumbai indians  and same blue matchin shorts pants...

6. What is your current problem?
Dont know which way to go in terms of my career... :( that is one thing that gives me alot of cerebral workouts... and i go huffing and puffing and panting...

7. Who do you love the most?
i'm a foodie guy.. love food food and food spicy ;)) & Chocolates... and Chocolates... and more chocolates..icecreams too..:).

8. What makes you most happy?
When I can crack  my pjs and not be asked to shut up... I love people who easily laugh and don't care if they end up making a complete fool of themselves or what the world thinks of them... as in people who know how to laugh at themselves and know how to share a good one... company in which I can be myself... and still be loved for it...

9. Are you musically defined?
yes siree I am... Love all kinds of music, and receptive to most genres except I guess the slam bang variety...:P but i love to indian rock..& yup  I  never understand heavy metal or the growling... its so beyond me...

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and discovered you were on cocaine?
Change the bed sheet.. what else... :P or probably roll around  :P

11.If you could go back in time and change some thing what would it be?
I guess I'd want to do away with a public speaking fiasco thta happened in my 8th standard which still haunts me till date...:( otherwise pretty happy with whichever way life's turned out...

12. If you must be an animal for a day, what would you be?
My friends would already be knowing the answer a bitch... Oh i so love dogs simply for their ability to give in so completely, to love so completely and unconditionally... i love their swagger, their lazy expression their vacuous stare, their wagging tail, their flapping ears as they run... their love lorn growl when they meet you, as if trying to tell you "ohh I missed you so much, where were you?"... i love their simplicity... Ohh I so love dogs... Sometimes i think I was a dog in my last incarnation...

13. Ever had a near death experience?
nopes... thankfully

14. Name an obvious quality you have?
ability to laugh easily... I dont being branded inebriated or senile... because i so love the easy dental display...

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
" I am not gonna write  a love song"..soo aah songs zindgayi na mile dobara-udaye khule  aasman...pe pariende,i love this track lyrics so its alway on my mind..

16. Are you happy today?
yup till now I am, don't know for the rest store me for tonite..

17. Who will cut and paste this first?
dunno really... plagiarism should not be practiced you see...

18. Name someone with the same birth? 

 Kerrea Gilbert, English footballer   .. anita raj former indian actress, ravindra jain ,

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?
yups I do... two in fact... hehe

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?
yups... but i wish my life too had a garbage disposal of its own...

21. have you ever been in a fight?
yes i have... the physical ones with sis and the verbal ones with absolute bitches...

22. have you ever sung infront of a large audience?
yes i have although only in a group... a solo performance is beyond a chicken like me

23. Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
I guess the way they carry themselves and the smile... I love people who smile through their eyes.. and have a good sense of humour...

24. Say something totally random about yourself?
I am one crazy person... and pretty sentimental... but not emotionally vulnerable... pretty clear hearted i guess... and sometimes find myself so out of place in this complicated world...

25. Has anyone said you looked like a celebrity?
yes they have, but don't think you'd call the person a celebrity...

26. Are you comfortable with your height?
I wasn't but i guess now I am.. i havin stable height i feel..  but am okay with it...

27. What is the most romantic thing somebody's done for you?
took me flying to the dance floor... hehe had my cinderella moment I guess except I was hip hopping than ball dancing...

28. What are your favourite smells?
smell of wet earth, elizabeth arden green tea perfume, fragrance of ma's saree and the smell of my last face wash and theres another smell which is kinda difficult to put in words...

29. What's something that totally annoys you?
two faced people.. people who say uncalled for lies... and people who judge others by their dressing sense and write them off... I so abhor them...

30. What's something you really like?
talking for hours on end... in free time i play cricket , work out, read novels write something craziest after that i tear that page and throw to dustbin its my habit of havin a timepass :)

31. Do you give random hugs and kisses?
To ma, Dad and sis... to others definitely not random...

32. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? 
till 4 in the night...

33. have you ever been rushed into the emergency room?
thankfully never... neither seem anybody being rushed in...

34. Whom would you tag?

  anchal ,abhi ,ishi,suraj , shraabani :)

ps: Life continues and continues.. guess what to a pig enjoying the muck and stench surrounding it (AAh the heat)... Swine flu where are you?? ha ha :)

last few weeks of my life.- and . diwali arrives..

It's been a while since I wrote something and actually found it worth posting, was suffering from what they call the writers block.
Well Life's been pretty normal...desdays.. I'm cutting down on my belligerent self.. or probably I've calmed down.

Sometimes I just find myself at odds with the promises I make for myself because try as i might I can't be the perfectionist I want to be. I find it really difficult accepting people for their flaws like i was the epitome of everything perfect. *sigh*  last 1week i have been practicing for "santosh memorial tournament" and these to be played  in our university itself ,finally i'm representing my cse branch although got selected in squad ..so i have to  play really well to make my place count in team.. yaa its been little bit tiring past 1week but i love working out...with my team mates..
thanks to my skipper who is really supportive and desperate to win these time..hopefully my strong six sense says we vl win..surely thy way we are practicing...in neats.

soo lets comes to point... its Diwali the festivals of lights finally arrived..well  i wake up  very early today morning , and it was  a beautiful morning, its  Diwali today but  Mom and Dad have left to didi 's place as she is alone in her house  :(... And I in no time will go back to the usual, regression and hey.. economic depression rides high in my life. Mom's started keeping tabs on the amount she lends me out or probably I've become an expensive kid. now a days.. 

So i'm thinking to goo for Ra.one de movie of srk and kareena  last few week. the excitments begins about these movie beczz the way they promted and had done publicity its eye catchin..luks lyk a . Amazing movie,and gona have a  roking chill out experience in the evening..tonite .. a must watch. movie.. Finally I find kareena kapoor  cute and seems to have lost out a lil on her charm..luks...hmmmm...  Nothing much to report
.. over and out..

ps:" well mates.Life is kooky.. life is kinky... and kicks the shit outta you, I realised..accepts the challenge.and defeat the odd ,time to bounce back and become champions in this competitive world..cheers..."  :) 

Enjoy the festival of Diwali with lots of fun. and have safe.. and Light diyas in the true spirit of Diwali,guys.. rather than opting for electric illumination which will only use up electricity.. sooo have a safe and a eco- friendly Diwali to my friends...cheerrs.^_^.-:) -:)

facebook Relationship *status * :).!!

thrown by soumya,
okies,..before writing about this so called relationship status, i need to give an  opinion of about  this person .."
“Not only are you proudly announcing that you are with somebody, but you are gambling that this one will last longer than a month or two. The evolution of the relationship is changing, and it's facebook's fault. Now, the path consists of 1) you go on a date, 2) you go on dates regularly, 3) you are only dating each other, 4) boyfriend/girlfriend, 5) Facebook official” - Ana Fernatt, Chicago Now opinion writer...
"Single? In a Relationship? Engaged/Married? These options just don't cut it...Forget 'It's Complicated'...we're fricking complicated! Relationships in general are 'complicated'! Need we post the obvious for all the world to see?” - from the Facebook Group 'Facebook Relationship Status Options are Insufficient'
well, if you've been reading my older posts you'd be knowing I'm finally trying my hand at some socialising. And thankfully unlike my first 'catch up' ( as in ketchup)*hehe*...:P
my second thankfully turned out to be better, yaa i finally discovered that I'd indeed been blessed with a tongue, and therefore finally i made use of it without making a fool of myself. I know good for me, after all those embarresing fiascos when i literally found my foot in my mouth (thankfully)... this was definetly a breather. So where was i?? Yaa...catching up... it was really nice to see that my friends had metamorphasized into pretty young things and even better to know that some of them could now put the relationship status on their Facebook profile as 'its complicated' ...i simply am in love with that option... and some even 'in a relationship'... so the conversations mostly centered around the 'existant', 'in the making' and the 'non existant' love lives of our batchmates... and then the usual exclamations followed "I don't believe it!! She out of all the people has a bf" "what?? she broke up..wasnt she dead serious about her bf" ... "her bf's cute..."..etc etc... and then "you know I have been seeing this guy for some time now..", "my crushes are the biggest dip shits...they are not worth it"..."my story's ending before it started..." ha ha :). what to say more .. sometimes lifes feels happy happy..full of harmony and some times full of sorrow...by thinking about this so call damn love..crush attraction oohoo...c'om... there are much more things to do in life than to just mess with this mess.. 

 Relationships are tricky things. So are relationship statuses. About 60% of Facebook users have some kind of relationship status declared. It seems that the online world has given rise to new types of relationship-defining ideas. Why is being Facebook official important to some people and not important to others?it's not me telling guys soo chill.. i read this statement and said by Ana fernatt  while surfing internet about this issue..
but really this facebook reationship status makes me..laugh when i see this it cheers me up.and my reaction is bit like this..."Aaree kal  he tho dekha tha uska status woh single tha  aur aaj committed wah kya baat hai" after some day i see "engaged "..after few weeks  complicated  then the most funniest part comes..again back to single.. he he  .:) anyways..moral is such little things in life makes us feel happy isn't..by seeing other's relatiosnhip status ..but have u ever asked if this things happens with u one of us then kaisa lagta?? arre  fir bhi new experince milta  na of changing status..:))
“My take on Facebook ‘Relationship Status’ is that I would never put a relationship on Facebook, unless I was pretty confident in it. My reason for this is, removing your status can be pretty dramatic and it’s drama that I don’t need to deal with.”


ps: just now saw a friend committed in his relationship status..so this thought really strikes on me..cheers for him...:)

past few days i'm in ambivalence...

thrown in by-soumya

So well... life the past couple of weeks hasn't been much to write home..  . my life  is completely  messed up these days...last week was has been a bad & a very painful week  for me.. .my cousin bro. grandmaa more the  she is my grand maa too..as we are belonging to a joint family. well she passes away on holy day of early morning of dusshera  ..i cryied for alomost 2days still in a shock but i relaise as its the greatest truth in everyone's life oneday we vl also say good bye to this world..so i consolidated .myself such mishaps happens 

will..i'm not sad for these incident desdays..i guess for other reason not getting inner satisfication and not happy with my life .i feel my soul is unable to breath with this world not any more..may be i'm sad may be i'm missing someone but how still can't figure out? why i'm sad i dont' know.

perhaps i won't want to stay here any more..may be some natural place aah yaa nature may help  me  from  coming out what ..i'm healing desdays yaa i can Only leave my breathless Motion,The decision to Only Move On after that ,,.. Somewhere down the line.. being the 'nobody loser' has become the bottom line of my life... I mean, I fail to see the silver lines in the 'sundriness' of my luck... and my God-forsaken life... 

But then again I  have to bounce back, coz life leaves you with no other option but to trudge along even if it means that your sole wears out in the long run up to the coveted life that we all dream off... Such is life they say... where the dissatisfaction and the disgruntlement keeps you going and at times just takes a toll... marks they say are small things but are they not the statistics that dictate the terms of your life momentarily... probably i am a 'marks-starved' kid... and these things definitely do get me worked up... especially when I see myself being treated as a lesser mortal, all for no fault... Good sense is conspicuous by its absence... and depression way too ominous... 

Sometimes you do wish to become oblivious to certain things of your life, pull the blinds to certain aspects but you cling on to what hurts you the most... the sadist and the cynic laugh out loud... things go bad once and you start picking on old wounds again, forgetting that you'l still carry the scar... and everything bleeds and singes... I do at times forget all that holds me down in my life, and prepare to fly only to remember that I need the earth too... Probably right now I sound all mixed up and dont make sense... but that is how muddled up i am... A precarious case of nerves, who lives on the extremes and still looks for ambivalence... means coexistence of opposing my feeling..

ps: i knw ..Bahut zyaada philosophy ho gaya ! its bit philosophical down the line..will what to do suffering from depression ..i myself also don't know what to write..